Not ready to be a parent...yet
I suppose that my title would make some assume that I am going to be a father soon...but no, don't even think it. I am not ready.
This past weekend, Alison - my beautiful wife - and I house/babysat for a couple that went on vacation. Their house was up miles of windy roads in the middle of Washington Park at the top of the hill. many beautiful views I must add.
We "baby" sat a Senior, Sophmore, and 4th grade girls of which 2 needed rides to places, and 1 had a basketball game to play. The 4th grader wanted to play cards... for hours... and hours. She didn't tire from cards, any card game you knew she would play.
I got to thinking that this was okay for the few days, but I am way to selfish with my time to be a parent right now. I want time for myself, without having to entertain! But now the weekend is over, and I have all the time to myself and my wife.
By the way. Do you automatically become less selfish when you have a child? Or is it learned?
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I sure hope it's learned, because I still feel pretty selfish. At the same time, I'm pretty darn excited. I don't think the selfish/unselfish line stays around much after you have kids. And if it does, you get a babysitter. Wow--parents are bound to think I'm very naieve at this point.
ReplyDeleteHello, Aaron. I got your blog address from the newsletter that your mom sent out. Anyway, I just wanted to comment on the selfishness issue. It depends on the person. That's why you see some good parents (not selfish), and some bad parents (selfish). Don't get me wrong -- you still need time to your self, or with your spouse when you have a child, but your priorities definitely need to change when that little one comes along. For some it's instantaneous, and for others it's learned. Either way, though, the unselfishness comes from God, because on our own, we are all selfish.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anna H.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll add, as a parent of 3, you really need to analyize WHY you ever want to have kids, because some people I know -- including me -- at some point ask themselves "What was I thinking, wanting kids?"
There is nothing wrong with choosing not to have children. God's directive "Be fruitful and multiply" has long been accomplished.
I love my kids. I am proud of them. But I don't remember what the drive was to have them. (I never had to push them out of my own body, either!)
I first congratulate you for wanting to spend time with your wife. If you do have kids in the future, carve out that time and protect it for all you're worth.
ReplyDeleteAs for the "automatically becoming less selfish" question, I don't tihnk so. Example: I'd still rather roll over and play asleep when my little guy is crying in the middle of the night, but I make myself get up and do my share. It's not automatic at all; in fact, I'm faced more and more with my own selfishness.