Chosen & Given

We have many relationships with others in life—some chosen, and some given.

My relationship with my wife Alison was chosen. After some time of knowing her we chose to date. After some time of dating we chose to become engaged. And after being engaged, we chose to take it all the way with marriage. It's a great thing! We love each other and chose to commit to life together as husband and wife. I chose to marry her and stay with her knowing her gifting and the things that irritate, knowing what she likes and doesn't. I chose her, and thankfully, she chose me back!

My relationship with my son Isaiah was given. Sure, Alison and I had the desire for a child, but everything about this relationship is given. I didn't choose Isaiah knowing what he likes and what drives him crazy. I don't know what his gifting or the things that irritate me will be. I don't know if he'll like to play music, sports, video games, or just play in the dirt. With Isaiah, I get who I get. I get who he is.

One must decide well with the chosen relationship of marriage so they can face their given relationships—with all the late nights, rude awakenings, poopy diapers, and great joy—fully unified and confident in running the whole race, side by side.

And yes, I chose well!